I MADE IT

I wanted to start today's little addition with 'today is the first day of the rest of my life' but realised that actually I could say that of all the days following this one. So I decided to keep it simple.

I made it....I feel that is the best way to describe today and how I feel. I started to make some changes today...at least stopping the binging....ok ok so my definition of binging is of course me gorging myself on chocs and crisps. So yes that is what I tried to focus on today. I did well in keeping my food intake low, my fluid intake high and my sweets intake at a reasonable level. I could have been better but there was these South African chocs in the work fridge and I just could not throw them away..no sirreee...so I contemplated having them myself. The shared it with Pauline though which was good and I am sure that if there were more people around I would have shared it with them too...the more the merrier isn't it. Oh well the old adage works for me right now because until I change my biggest habit ..or is it a habit ...of wanting to eat everything I buys will I be able to feel I have this part of my life under control. I am aware that I buy only what I need but that chocs in the fridge, the knowledge that I paid much more than usual for them was only more reason for me not to get rid of them but to eat them or getting as many people as I possibly can to eat them with me. Ok so that is gone now. No more chocs no more temptations no more naughtiness...

Today was good despite everything else. I had three meals, a good breakfast and a good lunch even though the lunch was not much I enjoyed it and did not feel hungry. I must admit though that the chocs may have become tempting because I may had too small a lunch...it is only when I am hungry that these temptations really get the better of me. The choc was needed closer the end of the day as well...that should tell me something as well...I will try and keep a healthy snack for that time of the day. I also had a good dindin - steamed chicken and veggies and I enjoyed that very much. I know these things and I can honestly say that I prefer this kind of food but I am sooooo lazy sometimes.

That is another habit I will have to tackle hehehehehehe. At least this day is over. I find that I have had a few chats with myself about keeping focused saying to myself - you don't need that Faiza...etc etc. Funny isn't it that I have to do that to keep my head straight....

I also realise that I have become quite edgy at work...I blame it on my 'goodbye' phobia. I do not like saying goodbyes. So what do I do? I make it so in my mind that I get irritated by people and stuff so that I don't feel too bad leaving. I am aware I am doing this and I need to be sure not to offend anyone with my stupidness.

I will soon be officially unemployed!!!!!! I am not even worried.