I find that there is always someone or something that reminds you of something; or little bit of wisdom that you know but maybe just stored to deep in your unconscious mind. Then of course you get little enlightenment where you wondrously remember these little pearls at the right time. Like today. I am sure I am getting slightly nervous about my journey to Nigel. I am excited, don't get me wrong, of getting to be with Nigel finally.....but I am also a bit scared of all those little things that any person would be scared about e.g. will it be ok, will I make it, will he still like me etc etc etc...Yep it is about me wanting some sort of guarantee and I know that I cannot have one..there is nothing in life, I feel, that I can get a guarantee for...that will be wonderful but way too much to ask....SO I GOT TO HAVE FAITH.....faith in what I cannot see and I shall take any hand that is extended in my direction to ensure that I do not turn my nose up at any god sent.
YEP deep thinking today...fear brings that on hehehehehe....I am sat here typing this little para in the dark...I should be in bed...tomorrow will be far too short a day to get everything done that I think I need to get done.
I had such a lovely time the past few days though that I cannot go without mentioning that....staying with Skye, John and Lucas has been great...such good people they are...and I do think that anyone that can deal with me are saints...and of course Lucas is my little lifesaver..no not the sweet..the real thing...I shall miss him terribly and hope he will remember me.
I also realised that I am so fortunate in life. I have such great people in my life and I am happy. I know I am loved as a person and that I am now more able to love myself. That is the 'man in the mirror' thing really isn't it...start with yourself and everything or everyone else will follow....Yes that it is indeed.
A new adventure, a new life and a more fulfilled life...I will make every effort to put me first...here we go...
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