As a young person I wasn't as fortunately as many of my friends were ...well at least I thought they were fortunate...my life as a three year old was very different to what it was when I turned eight, then thirteen and then sixteen..
I would always say I would never change my life as it was through experiencing my life that I am now living my life as it is now. That does not mean that it is without it's challenges but it is certainly a life way different and a life that has given me so much opportunities that I remain grateful for it.
At three I was told by someone in my family that I could read...now I cannot remember such a thing myself but I like the idea of it so that memory became mine. It is only now with some wisdom that I realise the difference between a memory that is recalled and a memory that is given. I liked the memory and can still see myself sat in a corner with a newspaper but I am also very aware that that may not be a memory of mine.
Anyway as I grew older my life took me down the path of imagination and I liked living there..it was so much easier than my reality...man I could never name it but I was stressing, I was becoming so negative and down trodden that I wished to come away from my life...and being in my imaginary world was the only way I could manage.
Getting presents or having new clothes were always a privilege of others ...I don't know I may have desired it but I cannot ever remember feeling that I deserved it....we were taught to never be envious and to always say when commenting on something someone else have by saying 'masha-allah' which means you show appreciation for what the other person has but that you are not envious of it...that was how I got my head around it...
Anyway so I on one occasion commented on a lady's skirt and said that 'masha-allah'. The lady was a friend of my mother's and through their visiting I became friends with the lady as well. The lady then gave me the skirt because I liked it and I took great care of it.
I can't remember having too many things but I can remember taking great care of what I had. Looking back I realise that I was quite possessive of my stuff and had some attachment to it...this was proven when I was ironing my skirt.. 'the skirt'...and for some reason I did not check the heat level and as such burnt a nice little hole...oooooo I was sad ...I felt like I have lost something huge...it was then that I decided that things will no longer become so important to me that I would feel this sad when I no longer have it. Funny that - self protection in the weirdest form.
Anyway I then developed an appreciation for having things but a 'I don't care' when I no longer had it...I got rid of things before I could get too attached...and that is how I go about dealing with my things...well that is what I thought I was doing...but then I realise that I name my stuff..and naming stuff indicates a form of attachment doesn't it....
So I have zoomy my vacuum and I have Polly my car to name a few. I sit now thinking about why I named it. Is it because of the issues around attachment to stuff, is it me showing appreciation for the stuff I have, is it some childhood fantasy where most all things are named ...I don't know I am a little mad at least the latter I am certain of.
I think that maybe I have hardened myself against losing some of my stuff and have managed to deal with the loss in a different way but that in fact I have not closed myself against feeling good about having these things and feeling proud in having it. This to me seem to have led to some emotion being linked to these things and it means great things to me....as this is so I feel a sense of loss when something happens e.g. it gets damage....maybe just maybe all of this means a lot more than just these superficial things...maybe these things are linked to deeper confirmation for me on a level to do with person value and worth etc and therefore any loss of thing may mean at some deep deep level that some of my worth or value is taken from me....I don't know it could be!!!!!
Friday 3 May 2013
Religion vs Spirituality
Now this a personal view and I hope that who ever reads this will accept it as such.
I was brought up in a home where religion was important and followed as best we could. Religion was never forced but lived. I guess it was because I believed that living my life a certain way was indication enough to those around me as to how much of a believer I really was. Knowing that I did my very best in living a good life seem to have been enough for me and my family. I can't profess to be the best at it but I can certainly say that I continue to live my life in a certain manner that makes me believe I am being the best I can be at this time.
Now.. I have never been one for wearing the garb and behaving in a manner others may believe would be more appropriate. For me it is about what my intentions are and in many ways I also believe that I am following the rules of the religion and following example as we are asked to do...Adapting, seeking knowledge, whilst at all times remembering the higher power. Of course we all show our commitment to this differently. It depends on the individual but somehow some believe that you have to do only certain things and that would only be considered. I am sad to say that I don't do to well in following all these rules...I am one of those who believe that I am able to think, understand and interpret readings myself and that even though some may want me to follow the interpretations of men I am unfortunately a great disappointment.
Anyway that aside.
I have had some conversations with individuals about what they believe in and am astounded often by the fact that there are people who live side by side with us that profess to be atheist, or that they do not believe in a GOD, or that they have no religion etc etc. Now this is their prerogative..Some would also say I am more spiritual than religious...and I often wonder what is the difference...I know I can go have a look in the dictionary but I don't know why but I have not done the latter...
For me spirituality and religion is not far removed. Religion as it is meant to be... not the religion informed by men and constructed to fit. That in my mind is just a form of control and have been for many years. I think that is what people don't feel too happy about...they wised up and are now defiant...we will not follow a religion that is limiting or dictating how we live or should live...or a religion that promotes power to some but not others.
So I believe from what my friends explain to me they have now chosen the word spiritual to describe their belief so to distinguish themselves.
What I think is that even though we say we are non believers or spiritual and all the rest we are quite dependent on the basics that we have been provided through religion and belief. Morality stems from the teachings in religion. Morality being what keeps us in line almost...our laws are linked to morality...our emotional wellbeing is often linked to the knowledge that we...humans...are protected by God's hand...or that the challenges we face in our lives are often what makes us stronger....
Sometimes I think that just maybe my friends are fighting a fight that relates to them not wanting to be followers, wanting to be unique etc and therefore they are spiritual alone...me on the other hand believe that I have a religion and I am spiritual and the one do not go without the other. I don't believe that I am a follower and that I am pretty unique in my own way...a lot of what I believe may be the same as many others do but how I interpret them and live my life is what makes me unique..the fact that some of my friends are so occupied with not wanting to have a religion that they have actually fallen fowl to their fears of being whatever they believe they would become if they do...
I don't think I would ever not want to have a belief ...I know many would argue about God or the God concept...I think this is the way things have been explained to us as humans because it would be too difficult for us to understand otherwise...there will always be things we don't get and we are not meant to know it all...I am comfortable in the knowledge that things have happened in life over many many years that may boggle my mind and that I am comfortable in the knowledge that no matter what happens in life..in my life that I will never be alone...the knowledge that I can talk to a higher power about what bothers me and that this gives me comfort...this is enough for me..sometimes that conversation can never be had with a person because what you need is a feeling of non judgement and who is best placed to not be judgemental?
I am often astounded and impressed at the way we as humans go about managing our own lives and ultimately beliefs. I would never say don't do it but I would sit and wish I could say 'have you ever sat back and thought about it a little bit deeper?'.
There are many mysteries in life and even more so to human behaviour and often I am curious more so about human behaviour. My behaviour often surprises me but behaviour and thinking processes demonstrated by my friends are often much more interesting...
So religion and spirituality is only one tiny bit of the conversation that intrigues because from there we could talk about other very interesting things....hhhmmmmmm I can't wait...Knowledge café here I come!!!!!!!! Scientist likes their experiments and so do I ....not that I am a scientist but I am certainly interested.
I was brought up in a home where religion was important and followed as best we could. Religion was never forced but lived. I guess it was because I believed that living my life a certain way was indication enough to those around me as to how much of a believer I really was. Knowing that I did my very best in living a good life seem to have been enough for me and my family. I can't profess to be the best at it but I can certainly say that I continue to live my life in a certain manner that makes me believe I am being the best I can be at this time.
Now.. I have never been one for wearing the garb and behaving in a manner others may believe would be more appropriate. For me it is about what my intentions are and in many ways I also believe that I am following the rules of the religion and following example as we are asked to do...Adapting, seeking knowledge, whilst at all times remembering the higher power. Of course we all show our commitment to this differently. It depends on the individual but somehow some believe that you have to do only certain things and that would only be considered. I am sad to say that I don't do to well in following all these rules...I am one of those who believe that I am able to think, understand and interpret readings myself and that even though some may want me to follow the interpretations of men I am unfortunately a great disappointment.
Anyway that aside.
I have had some conversations with individuals about what they believe in and am astounded often by the fact that there are people who live side by side with us that profess to be atheist, or that they do not believe in a GOD, or that they have no religion etc etc. Now this is their prerogative..Some would also say I am more spiritual than religious...and I often wonder what is the difference...I know I can go have a look in the dictionary but I don't know why but I have not done the latter...
For me spirituality and religion is not far removed. Religion as it is meant to be... not the religion informed by men and constructed to fit. That in my mind is just a form of control and have been for many years. I think that is what people don't feel too happy about...they wised up and are now defiant...we will not follow a religion that is limiting or dictating how we live or should live...or a religion that promotes power to some but not others.
So I believe from what my friends explain to me they have now chosen the word spiritual to describe their belief so to distinguish themselves.
What I think is that even though we say we are non believers or spiritual and all the rest we are quite dependent on the basics that we have been provided through religion and belief. Morality stems from the teachings in religion. Morality being what keeps us in line almost...our laws are linked to morality...our emotional wellbeing is often linked to the knowledge that we...humans...are protected by God's hand...or that the challenges we face in our lives are often what makes us stronger....
Sometimes I think that just maybe my friends are fighting a fight that relates to them not wanting to be followers, wanting to be unique etc and therefore they are spiritual alone...me on the other hand believe that I have a religion and I am spiritual and the one do not go without the other. I don't believe that I am a follower and that I am pretty unique in my own way...a lot of what I believe may be the same as many others do but how I interpret them and live my life is what makes me unique..the fact that some of my friends are so occupied with not wanting to have a religion that they have actually fallen fowl to their fears of being whatever they believe they would become if they do...
I don't think I would ever not want to have a belief ...I know many would argue about God or the God concept...I think this is the way things have been explained to us as humans because it would be too difficult for us to understand otherwise...there will always be things we don't get and we are not meant to know it all...I am comfortable in the knowledge that things have happened in life over many many years that may boggle my mind and that I am comfortable in the knowledge that no matter what happens in life..in my life that I will never be alone...the knowledge that I can talk to a higher power about what bothers me and that this gives me comfort...this is enough for me..sometimes that conversation can never be had with a person because what you need is a feeling of non judgement and who is best placed to not be judgemental?
I am often astounded and impressed at the way we as humans go about managing our own lives and ultimately beliefs. I would never say don't do it but I would sit and wish I could say 'have you ever sat back and thought about it a little bit deeper?'.
There are many mysteries in life and even more so to human behaviour and often I am curious more so about human behaviour. My behaviour often surprises me but behaviour and thinking processes demonstrated by my friends are often much more interesting...
So religion and spirituality is only one tiny bit of the conversation that intrigues because from there we could talk about other very interesting things....hhhmmmmmm I can't wait...Knowledge café here I come!!!!!!!! Scientist likes their experiments and so do I ....not that I am a scientist but I am certainly interested.
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