Nineteen point zero one again!!!! phew

OK so this week has been hard work..I was desperate to get rid of that one extra lb and put on. Not easy I might add!!! I still ate cake though and even though I know I have to stop I also know that by denying myself something only means that I would want it more later and that may even be more evil than having the slice of cake when I want it..it is not as if I do it often. Anyway I went to WW today and got onto the scales thinking ...I don't want to feel shit after this...well I did not. I spoke a bit to the leader lady and told me that when I start exercising the body holds on to fluids to feed the muscle and that this may be why I put on weight last week etc. She said that I am likely to see more a change of shape rather than a loss in weight in the beginning. That was all good news to my ears. So I can't wait to see the change in shape isn't it just exciting..
My hair was a bit of a talking point this week and I can honestly say that I generated much of the talk...i was well impressed with my new hairstyle and since I am blogging to write down what goes on in my head I figured I would do exactly that...So the worry for me was - would I be able to get my hair to look as good as the salon pips did? Well can you believe it - I DID! I think I even looked better - if I were a trend setter the flick would be coming back into fashion. It was easy, it was simple and it looked good.....and that all made me feel marvelous.

Well all that aside I decided that today would be the day that I treat myself with something nice to eat. That was how I put it to myself but what I really meant was that I could really go for some fast food today. That was a problem for me..so I decided to go directly home and see whether or not I still feel for nonsense food...OK so I did but I stayed strong and cooked a stir fry which tasted fantastic and I had a few nibbles that was in my cupboard - only ones that I buy knowing that it is better than the choc or crisps...so yes I snacked on that and did not feel bad at all...I tracked throughout and even though I managed to fill my points today I feel that I could so easily have gone over by having nonsense foods..

I am so Proud of myself!!! All the suffering - power plate and eating right will pay dividends in the end!!! I am indeed looking forward to it!

Powerplate!!! demon machine!!!!!

Today is a bit wet and a good reason for me to go and get some exercise...so off I went to the gym. My time at the gym is getting longer started out being 30 minutes but now I am in there for at least an hour and a half..that is of course including the stretches and chatting with the trainers or watcher or helpers whatever we call them.

So anyway today I figure it would be a good time to show you all how horrendous I look on the power plate. So one of the nice people agreed and snapped me on the demon machine...when I look at the photo it doesn't look like I am doing anything that would make me sweat but believe me when I say I am...when I am done on that machine my legs are no longer where it is supposed to be or at least my brains don't register them there so I am very often in need of some help from the floor!!! yes the floor and maybe a pillar or even a human being hehehehehe...So here is a pic of the lovely me on that demon...

After gym I went home and watched a bit of tv whilst the rain on the roof made me think of the week ahead...what I have to do and how I intend to manage the tasks for the week...well that was it...I just had to get up and get rid of that thoughts it is after all still weekend and I do not need to extend the working week...all work thoughts will have to commence from tomorrow morning 830.

I remembered that my last guitar lesson enabled me to play two new tunes on the guitar so I had a shower...looked at the hair and gave up before I even started (the hair I mean). I then made myself comfortable and practiced these new tunes...well I have to sing along as well...so playing a few chords - C,G and later F as well - I was able to sing along to THE WHEELS ON THE BUS and TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR...Lucas will love me for it...well at least when I am more apt at playing it and it actually sounding like the actual tune. I must introduce you to my Gigi yes my guitar is named Gigi..my first guitar...she is doing well keeping up with me...I also practiced a bit of the classical sounds and picking...labamba still proves a bit difficult for me. I don't know why but I just cannot hear the song in my playing...oh well maybe another lesson on this one then. I find the guitar lessons really interesting and very impressed with myself so far...it keeps one young at heart...learning can take any form and for me right now it is through music...maybe one day I will try painting...maybe. After all Pisces are creative creatures is not so...

'NICE NICE NICE' BISCUITS

Today is my third day of trying to be good and going back to the basics...I am not doing very well...yes I had some 'nice' biscuits about three. I enjoyed every munch and even though I know I will have to count it I don't feel at all worried. I wonder sometimes if I am ready for the sacrifices I will have to make, the habits I will have to break the.... everything really... I think I am almost there!!!!!!!

I look at the weight watchers 'eat out' guide and think that is another habit I will have to change...eating out is one of my needs. I need to socialise and this I normally do around food..I love it and I do think that if I do not do this I will probably go really depressed...I also realise that I can actually replace this habit with a healthier ones...I will have to think what though. If there was a book that really got used it was my weight watcher eating out guide I love it love it love it!!!!!!

Another bad habit is of course my beloved DIET COKE...I love it yes and I know that it is good in some ways to have it instead of other sodas but I have too much of it...I was told many years ago that if I can't stay without it for 24 days than I am addicted...I will try...Water will have to do from next week onward. I know it is better that way...if I manage to do it then I guess I shall continue and occasionally have a diet coke...I solemnly promise....

I felt a bit fat today...what is that all about!!!!? I have had compliments about looking slimmer and better...that should be good....that can only mean that other's are seeing how hard I work in the gym. My shape is getting better...it may not reflect yet on the scales but it does show in other ways...so I shall continue and when weighing in I will no longer look and I no longer want to know how much I weigh....then again if I don't want that then why I am still at weight watchers..I know I know it is because I need to do this with other's in the same boat...they inspire and motivate me.....I do like loosing weight and sharing how good I feel with those sat in the meeting.

I watched supersize vs superskinny this week and I feel for the people...it is a hard journey and they are so courageous to do something like that. I sometimes wonder if I would qualify for the show...I just want the good doctor to give me a eating plan for so many weeks. I look at what they people eat and I feel 'no way' is my eating habits so bad..I don't eat half as much food as some and in fact the skinny guys probably eat more junk than I do but look at MEEEEE! It does make me wonder...I know my downfall is the cakes, crisps, chocs and sweets and then the occasional Indian. I don't have it for a while and when I do have it I indulge big time and then I put on weight..this is what happened this week, I indulged. Then I take it so hard and become a bit morbid and start kicking myself ...then I need a pick me up and this is my plan...

So I can't wait to have my hair cut on Saturday maybe that will give me that extra boost I need to take on this world of mine...it is a constant battle but who would want it any other way...I love my little battles and even though it makes me cry sometimes I know there are people out there with more of a battle and not complaining so why am I!!!

Nineteen point two aaaaaaa

THAT IS IT!!!!!!! I need to sweat some more and maybe go back to the start of weight watchers...I think I am a bit too comfortable with maneuvering or juggling points that I am loosing sight of my goal. I am defo going in the wrong direction...funny thing is though that I feel good, my clothes fit better and I look better in them as well. However, when I got onto the scales today it reflected that I gained a lb. That is not good is going through my brain and I realise that it is actually very important to me, seeing the the numbers on the scales showing that my weight is getting less even though I know that this is not the only way to do it...it is important to me though!!!! Psychological You THink!!?

So that is it no more of the chocs I love and the crisps I enjoy...well certainly not as much as I have had for the past week or so...I need to focus...

This is how things stand now....I hope to change that and eventually have the choc treat at the bottom and the ww tracker on top. I do not want this to take over my life but I sure hope to make better decisions regarding food. Maybe I need to try and find out what my relationship with food really is...is it a coping mechanism, a control thing or has it to do with feelings of undeserving ...well I don't know but I would like to know...maybe my journey will bring me to that answer as well.

No exercise today but tomorrow I will be back in that gym to shake some part of my body in the hope that I will weigh less next week...keep fingers crossed one and all because all the eyes on me may just spur me on to go that extra mile or stone...hehehehehe

Phew Sweat is good RIGHT!!!!!!

I went to the gym today as I missed out yesterday...I am not complaining as I had a lovely day yesterday and would not change that for the gym...no way!!!

I worked out hard and had quite a few beads of sweat dripping down my back and my hair was really soaked...so I take comfort in that I worked hard and hope that it will reflect tomorrow at WW weigh-in. There are a few machines in the gym which I would gladly avoid but since a program has been worked out for me I thought I better do it and see if it works. So far so good...that power plate is scary and I am sure that I must look stupid on it but who cares I am not looking at myself...thank goodness for that. Thirty second on that thing and my insides feel like whipped cream. My legs of course, when done, feels like someone else's and I have to actually hold on to them to make sure that I can still stand on them. Well I survived and now as I sit typing my blog I am contemplating my journey to bed up a flight of stairs knowing that my legs are still feeling like jelly...

What makes me do this I often ask myself and the answer I normally give myself is ....you want to be healthy but that is just the say what I really feel is - I want to be thin. I know there is a thinner me inside of the bigger me and I need to find her so I am searching and hopefully my search will prove fruitful...

Oh before I go I found Ollie, Lollie and Pollie....I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...they made me smile the whole day and for days after. Cuties they are.

Nature

I realise that I quite enjoy nature..animals and flowers. I can appreciate more now and in some ways I wish I had a pet or enjoyed more time appreciating nature when I was younger. I can remember climbing Table Mountain in Cape Town but I can not remember the path, the little wonders on the path and the excitement of the actual mountain and being so high up. I think back and realise that I was so scared, or so unfamiliar with nature that I could not really deal with it and thus the only thoughts that went through my head then was 'get me down from here'...hehehehehe yes I can remember being so scared that I had to come down the mountain on my backside yes going from one stone to the next. Funny though I was proud that I actually did it but so little is remembered. I must go home and familiarise myself with Kirstenbosch and the lovely things there and maybe even do the mountain walk again...hopefully this time around I will not need to come down on my backside. A life worth living hehehehehe....I wish I could post a picture of Ollie, Lollie and Pollie...the three rhino's I have suddenly found myself really attached to. Now those are animals. Beautiful and strong and I could sit and watch them all day long. I shall try and get a picture to add but for now I leave you with a promise.

Nineteen point zero one

This week has been a good one for shedding some weight. I managed to get rid of three lbs. i think exercise had a lot to do with it. The program I have at the gym is having me do things faster than normal and it seems to work...I was kinda doing things slow but steady and focused on the length of time but this time around it is more about the speed...good but my legs feel like jelly for at least two days after. I will continue though and see how much I can manage to shed this week. Fingers crossed!!!!!!!!

Took some pic but had to do it with the help of a mirror and yes I don't really like taking pics but for the purposes of my blog I think it is essential. So I shall post the unflattering pics and hope that no one views it too closely lol.

Good luck to me for the week ahead.

Finally I am blogging

Phew!!!! finally I'm blogging...it all starts here! Now to find out how to personalise my home page...I think I chose a nice one but I have seen nicer ones so I shall continue exploring. I will also have to find my camera to take pics for the blog after all it is about me trying to blog myself thin hehehehehe...so my first picture will be ME...not yet but soon though....