Myaaaaa Phooooonnee

So for the past few weeks I have been without my phone..don't get me wrong...I had a phone but I found that I missed MYA PHONE!!!!!

I never really thought that I would be so dependent on technology. I still hold the view that this so.... but admit that the ease that come with technology is what I enjoy most. Any way I missed it all!!!!!

Tomorrow I will collect my phone!!!!!! I can't wait ...I almost feel giddy....I need to go for a coffee, me and my phone alone lol...you know to get to know my phone again.

I need something to keep me busy this weekend...switching off isn't all that easy this week. I hope that next week will bring better days and not a continuation of the things, feelings and experiences of this week...I think in some way I am only now getting to know the real depth of the job I have...if I could I would want a bit more time so I can suck the life out of being oblivious to this part of the job.

Hmmmm emotional responses to life events are natural and expected but sometimes I wish that I could be a bit hardened against it. Then again I can't say that I would want it always. I am proud of who I am and what I have achieved in my life so that little bit of emotional madness that often spills over in work and other places have served me well. Now though I need to choke it a bit here and there ....

It is at times like these that I miss my family...with them around you can forget about all the things that is going on...too much that I have to catch up on with them so no time for my troubles...just sitting down and talking with a cuppa and maybe a biscuit..we do that very well...who can I get to have a cuppa with me to talk to about all the things that is going on in my head?

I want to have some "girl time" ...going for pedi's etc it just does not work if I go all on my own, I KNOW!!!

WORD!!!!!

Awareness or What?!!!!

I have been trying real hard keeping in good mood since the beginning of this new year. Of course, I know that this can not last for very long...so on came the dreaded TOM and with him he brought all those stupid feelings...aaaarrrhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Anyway I cooked, I kept busy at work, I went to the shop to prepare for meals etc etc to try and keep on track...now that was quite nice I must admit....I realised that with an extra bit of time at the end of each day you can do much more. So leaving work a bit earlier is exactly what I need.

I started sewing, I got myself sorted with swimming gear and plan to drop around to the badminton centre tomorrow to get myself sorted for that as well....there is of course a need for me to get back on to that horse called exercise becuase I have now committed to doing the Round the Bays 10 km. I am looking forward to it but I need to get fit.

With all of that my mood still fell right to the floor...the usual same old same old thing....TOM brings these things on always...so I try and keep aware of these but you know I loose everytime...I go quiet and seem to be sulking...I do not engage in conversation and often it is about keeping myself safe...but then there are times that I just cannot help asking those questions.....I know I shouldn't for my own sanity but I still do..the desire to hear something different is great but you know what, when I don't hear what I want to hear the disappointed is even GREAT..hateful I know and the saddest things is that it lasts....and can at time lead to some tears...

So that was some of my weekend but I am ok now.....I THINK!!!!!!

If ever you feel like someone has your heart in their hands and squezing just give them a fucking hard slap and walk away...that should work...but understand it is only when you chose to love someone that this is what you will feel...I am giving the HONEY an imaginary 'fucking slap' cos that is HOW I ROLL!!!!!!!

:)) chat soon

2013 Happy Happy!!!!

Here we are in 2013..in fact we made it to the second day of 2013.

This year started well for me and the honey. We had a meal together and waited for the clock to strike 12.

Getting up the next morning was funnily enough quite a good feeling. The day was really good and I was so glad to have had the time to reflect on the day that has past and the year that it all concluded. The honey and I worked hard this year and I believe that we got everything that we set out minds to. Certainly we were very fortunate.

Not often do we realise how fortunate we are because we are so caught up in wanting what we think we need... we often forget we only develop a desire to have something because we think that it would make us happier.

I look back at the happenings of the year that has just gone and realise now more so than then ...that in fact me and the honey have been very very fortunate...I am greatful for all we have and decided that it would be good to look beyond myself and the honey..

I think this year I would like to do some voluntary work and I will make a concerted effort to do this. This is not my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION... we know those are never kept...speaking of myself of course...I want to feel like I am making a difference to other's lives...and volunteering is what I think I need to do to get that need satisfied.

I am one of those who tend to cry when I see a sad advert on TV about poverty, abused children etc etc...it is so sad watching it...so instead of just sitting and watching it and feeling sad I want to start feeling that I am doing a bit more to try and make the world better for those who may be less fortunate than I am.

My new year resolution like every year is to try and look after myself, lose weight, be healthy, connect spiritually, be happy and be forgiving. I will again promise to try my best to become the person I believe I am and hope that this year I get closer to that than what I did the year before and the one before then and so on and so on....

So change is on the horison for me and sometimes my responses to these will be pathetic but I hope that I pull myself together enough so that I can say, upon reflection, I took what I needed from this and will make the best with what I have.

I wish a good year to all and hope that all your resolutions are achieved over the year ahead.